Aldi, Celiac, Celiac Disease, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Kitchen Bitch, liveGfree, Reviews

Gluten Free Reviews: liveGfree Chicken Roja Tamale Bites

After the high of the Macaroni & Cheese I got from Aldi’s liveGfree line, I went temporarily insane and bought approximately one billion of their products the last time I went grocery shopping. These Chicken Roja Tamale Bites were one of the casualties. Surprisingly, from all of the products I’ve gotten from this gluten free line, this is the only one so far that I’ve had any complaint with. I’m not sure if it’s a legitimate complaint, though – I think I had different expectations for what these were from what they actually turned out to be. I had a friend in Memphis who would make a massive batch of tamales every year with her mother and sisters. She would kindly bring me 10 tamales to work with her and they were always amazing. So my views are pretty skewed.

  
For what these were, they were pretty good. Imagine those crunchy corn nuggets you used to be served in your elementary school cafeteria. Now replace the gross corn with delicious slightly spicy shredded chicken filling and replace the batter with a masa harina batter. Sounds delicious, right? Well, they were. I think what threw me off (spitting in the face of my normally logical person) was I was weirdly expecting the steamed texture of tamales when the instructions call for baking the bites. Since they’re baked, they have that crunchy exterior I equate with corn nuggets. They did take longer to bake than the box called for – it suggested 15 minutes baking time and they were still doughy at that point. I lowered the temperature to 325* and baked them for 10-15 minutes longer and they were perfect.

  
Overall, these were okay, but not great. I probably won’t get them again, but someone else may really enjoy them.

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

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Aldi, Celiac, Celiac Disease, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Kitchen Bitch, liveGfree, Pasta, Reviews

Gluten Free Reviews: liveGfree Macaroni & Cheese

If you’re eating gluten free, you may have found that the substitutes for beloved favorites often fall short of the mark and that’s putting it kindly. Macaroni & Cheese was one of those foods that I’ve desperately tried to find a good substitute for and have experienced the gamut of disgusting from mealy to gloopy to sticking to your teeth to just plain gross. We recently started shopping at Aldi and discovered their plethora of gluten free alternatives in their liveGfree line. Everything I’ve had in that line has been amazing and surprisingly, often better quality or in taste than the “normal” gluten filled products.

Enough time has passed since my last gluten free Macaroni & Cheese fiasco that I felt brave enough to try out the liveGfree version and I was pleasantly surprised! It’s one of the microwaveable meals and I’d put it on par with comparable “normal” products (except Stouffer’s, because nothing can compare with my sharp, melty, delicious goddess of cheese and pasta). 

  
The sauce is cheesy and creamy without that familiar gloop texture that gluten free sauces often get. An 8 ounce serving size has 370 calories, 750mg sodium, 51g total carbohydrates, 2g fiber, and a whopping 9g protein. It clearly isn’t an everyday meal option, but it is definitely worth the calories and carbs for the flavor. There are some ugly words in the ingredients list, but I’m willing to overlook them since the pasta is so delicious and they’re actually at a minimum. The majority of the ingredients listed are wholly recognizable – corn pasta made with corn flour and water, cream, cheddar cheese, milk, salt, white wine, & dijon mustard. Hello!? That’s most of the ingredients you’d use if making homemade Macaroni & Cheese.

  
This one is definitely worth a look if you’re missing the cheesy, creamy amazingness of Macaroni & Cheese.

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

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Breakfast, Celiac, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Low Glycemic, Snacks

Low Glycemic “Granola”

I don’t know about y’all, but in the summertime, I am not about some slaving over a hot ass stove to make myself some breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. Or supper. Or elevenses. Or snacks. Or second breakfast, even. (In case you were wondering, yes, I *am* a hobbit unicorn mermaid.) Since it’s gotten warmer, I’ve started mass cooking the meats & veggies for the entire week on one day on the grill and making things I won’t have to heat up later. Like this granola.

As we all know, I am a broken, broken Kitchen Bitch. One of my issues is that I have PCOS, which means that my body is naturally insulin resistant, which means I really need to lay off the fucking sugar. Another is that I have celiac disease, which means that I can’t have most grains or seasonings that seem to be in every-fucking-thing in the world. Combine these two and it could make for a boring diet of plain baked meats and steamed veggies. Cue… wait for it… me. I love flavor. I love spices. I absolutely cannot deal with bland foods. I’d rather drink cod oil. So I generally have to make my own foods that others can just buy at the store. This is where my “granola” comes in. It is awesome. Sweet, spicy, all natural, won’t shove your blood sugar through the roof goodness. I normally eat a half or quarter cup of it as a snack or eat it with milk as a “cereal.” Related, have you ever thought about cereal? It’s like a cold soup. For breakfast. Isn’t that weird? Anyhow. Make this “granola.” It’s amazeballs.

Low Glycemic “Granola”

Ingredients:

  • 1/4 lb organic chipped coconut
  • 1/2 lb. low glycemic snack mix
    • I bought both the chipped coconut and the low glycemic snack mix from the bulk section of HyVee, this awesome grocery store they have in the Midwest. No, they’re not paying me to say that. I just really like HyVee. But I’m always willing to be paid to say that. Because I just really like HyVee. I’m just saying. But I digress. This particular snack mix has dried apricots, dried apples, raw pistachios, walnuts, raw pecans, and cinnamon.
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp cayenne
  • 1 pinch celtic sea salt
  • 1/4 c coconut oil
  • 1/4 c maple syrup

Directions:

  • Pre-heat oven to 325*.
  • Line a lipped cookie sheet with parchment paper and pour low glycemic snack mix and chipped coconut into pan.
  • Mix with hands and spread evenly over bottom of the cookie sheet.
  • Melt down coconut oil on stove or in microwave and whisk in the cinnamon, cayenne, and sea salt.
  • Once that is all mixed thoroughly, whisk in the maple syrup and pour over ingredients in the pan.
  • Bake for 15-20 minutes or until coconut chips have begun browning, stirring occasionally.
  • Let cool and store in mason jar, in ziploc bags, or an airtight container for up to two months in the fridge. It can also be frozen.
Before baking... you'll notice I just left a large glob of coconut oil on top of everything to melt down in the oven. Do as I say, not as I do.  I kid. But really...

Before baking… you’ll notice I just left a large glob of coconut oil on top of everything to melt down in the oven. Do as I say, not as I do. I kid. But really…

That’s it! Hope you enjoy.

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

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21DSD, Celiac, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Kitchen Bitch, Paleo, Recipes

Homemade Breakfast Sausage

So… I’ve been noticeably absent. I know because a friend was quick to point out that I personally haven’t written a post in nearly a month. A lot has contributed to that, but mainly because of my health. I found a lump under my right armpit and with my family history of cancer, felt it was worth a.) freaking out about it and b.) having checked out by a qualified medical professional.

Regardless, I’m bouncing back now – they believe it was just an inflamed lymph node and I was put on amoxicillin, but it grew three times as large as it was originally, so in turn, I was, in the words of my doctor, placed on “the strongest antibiotics available in pill form.” Two weeks later, the lump is almost back down to its original size and I have a followup appointment with a specialist. Yay for my crappy genetics.

But all of that is beside the point. You people come here for some motherfucking recipes and you’re gonna motherfucking get ’em.

I started making my own breakfast sausage when I started doing 21DSD because the regular sausage available in stores usually have a lot of fillers and sugar in them. Once I was diagnosed with celiac, I just kept right on making my own because I don’t like reading labels and wondering if I’m going to be glutened by something that quite frankly doesn’t need any flour in it, much less MSG or corn syrup. But enough politics. Moving on to the breakfast-y goodness.

Breakfast Sausage

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. ground meat of your choice
    • I normally mix 1 lb. ground turkey and 1 lb. ground pork and double the recipe
  • 2 tsp. sage
  • 1 tsp. celtic or kosher sea salt
  • 1 tsp. thyme
  • 2 tsp. cayenne
  • 1 tsp. black pepper
  • 1 tsp. paprika
  • 1 tsp. worcestershire sauce, liquid aminos, or coconut aminos (for smokiness)
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced

That’s it!

Directions:

  1. Mix seasonings together in small bowl (Don’t dump on top of the meat willy nilly like I did – it doesn’t mix as well and you get pockets of oh, say, cayenne, then you cough a lot and drink three glasses of water. But I live dangerously, so…) 2015-04-21 16.19.41
  2. Dump meat into large mixing bowl
  3. Sprinkle seasonings over ground meat and mix thoroughly with hands. If you’re using ground turkey, be careful not to overmix or the end result will have a mealy texture that is completely off putting and gag-inducing. I know this from personal experience. Just don’t overmix ground turkey. Ever.
  4. Cook as normal in oven or on stove-top

This recipe should serve 8 two-ounce portions.

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Now isn’t that easy AF? And if you don’t like the proportions of ingredients, it’s very easy to adjust them. You’re on a low sodium diet? Lower the salt by half. Don’t like your breakfast sausage spicy? Don’t use the cayenne pepper. Too much sage? Reduce it by half. Sometimes I like to play around with the usual recipe and throw something completely unexpected in like cumin, cinnamon, or nutmeg. That’s the thing about making your own food. You can adjust it to your personal preferences. Enjoy!

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

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21DSD, Celiac, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Kitchen Bitch, Paleo, Recipes

Egg Roll Bowl

I thought I’d invented this recipe, but my terrible friend “Ted Bigsby” kindly pointed out that I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake and neither is this recipe. But that’s fine. It’s still delicious and Bigsby can eat a bag of balls.

Said bag of balls.

Said bag of balls.

I’ve been promising this recipe for maybe a month to a couple of people, so here it is!

Egg Roll Bowl

Ingredients:

  • 1 large cabbage, shredded or sliced into strips
  • 9 oz. julienned carrots ( I went the lazy route and just bought a bag of matchstick carrots)
  • 1 lb. ground pork
  • 1 head of celery, finely chopped (about 8 oz.)
  • 1/4 cup coconut aminos (or liquid aminos or soy sauce)
  • 2 tablespoons coconut aminos (or liquid aminos or soy sauce)
  • 2 teaspoons ginger
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 tablespoon fat of choice (I used bacon fat)
  • Optional
    • 1 tablespoon Sriracha
    • 1 tablespoon sesame oil
    • green onion, chopped, for garnish

Directions:

  1. Cook ground pork and 1/4 cup coconut aminos over medium-high heat, breaking up into crumbles until done. Remove from pan.
  2. In large pot, stir-fry sriracha, ginger, garlic, carrots, and celery in 1 tablespoon of fat and 2 tablespoons coconut aminos.
  3. Add ground pork and cabbage to carrot and celery mixture. Cook over medium-low heat until the cabbage is cooked down and caramelized. Remove from heat and serve.
  4. Optional: Once removed from heat, stir 1 tablespoon sesame oil into mixture, then serve with green onion garnish

This recipe should serve 8 regular or 4 large portions

Egg Roll Bowl

Enjoy!

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

P.S. – Grad School will be out for three weeks (SPRING BREAK, BABY!!!), so I’ll be taking a brief hiatus. We shall return April 24th with a guest post from Rachel Smith!

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21DSD, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Kitchen Bitch, Paleo, Recipes

Spicy Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potatoes & Creamy Sriracha Sauce

I was HANGRY yesterday afternoon due to having been on the phone with the fucking IRS 

Thank you, Squints. If you haven’t seen this movie, I just feel bad for you, son. So back to my hangry afternoon… The IRS apparently just likes to fuck with me and make me sit on hold for 8 hours only for them to hang up on me, so then I have to go through all their stupid prompts to sit on hold for another 8 hours. Needless to say, I’ve been on hold with the IRS the past week. I randomly got through at 2:14 p.m. yesterday afternoon, and celebrated by actually eating before dinner for once with these stuffed sweet potatoes.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Kitchen Bitch, really? Chicken and sweet potatoes?” But hear me out – sweet potatoes are amazing with spicy stuff. Even my naysaying “I hate all vegetables” husband scarfed down one of these and ate another one for lunch the next day, asking me when I was going to make them again. Trust in the process. I know what I’m talking about. So try these out if you’re looking for a delicious, mother fucking easy weeknight (or afternoon) meal.

Spicy Chicken Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients:

  • 1 can rotel with green chiles ( This does have calcium chloride in it, but I was in a hurry. If you want to make your own rotel, there are plenty of recipes out there. Here’s one from The Kitchn.)
  • 4 medium to large sweet potatoes
  • 2 chicken breasts
  • 2 tablespoons fat of your choice (I used bacon fat)
  • 1 tablespoon fat of your choice
  • 1 onion, finely chopped
  • 1 green bell pepper, finely chopped
  • 1/4 cup green onions, finely chopped
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 tsp. coconut aminos (or liquid aminos or soy sauce or worcestershire sauce)
  • 1.5 tablespoons Flavor God Everything Spicy seasoning
    • OR:
      • 1 tsp cumin
      • 1 tsp chili powder
      • 1 tsp cayenne
      • 1 tsp garlic powder
      • 1/2 tsp paprika
      • 1/4 tsp black pepper
      • 1/4 tsp salt

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. In cast iron or oven safe pan, melt down 2 tbsp. fat of choice and saute vegetables (minus green onion) with seasonings until the onions are translucent over medium high heat.
  3. Remove vegetables, turn down heat to medium, add chicken breasts. Brown on each side, then remove from pan.
  4. In pan, melt down remaining tbsp. of fat of choice and place 4 sweet potatoes in bottom of pan. Place chicken breasts on top of sweet potatoes and place in the oven, covered. Cook for 45-60 minutes or until sweet potatoes are soft through.
  5. Remove pan from oven, then remove chicken to a medium bowl. Replace cover on pan over sweet potatoes.
  6. Using two forks, shred chicken, then pour in can of rotel, sauteed vegetables, and green onions. Mix well.
  7. Serve as is over sweet potatoes, or top with cheese, sour cream, creamy sriracha sauce, or all three.

This recipe should serve 4.

Creamy Sriracha Sauce

Ingredients:

  • 3 tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 1 tablespoon sriracha
  • 1 tsp Flavor God Garlic Lover’s seasoning OR 1 tsp garlic salt

Directions:

  1. Mix all ingredients well
  2. Spoon over stuffed sweet potatoes

I chose to sqwunch all the ingredients for the Creamy Sriracha Sauce inside a ziploc bag, then snip a corner off to squeeze it over my stuffed sweet potato. Chuck chose to top his stuffed sweet potatoes with a metric fuck ton of sharp cheddar cheese and sour cream. Either way is good, but the sauce adds a creaminess factor that compliments the smooth texture of the baked sweet potatoes. This recipe could easily be adapted to be vegetarian or vegan by taking out the chicken (duh), adding more veggies like zucchini, and adding a good protein like black beans.

2015-03-25 14.45.27-1

Enjoy!

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

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Gluten Free, Grocery List, Kitchen Bitch, Meal Plan, Meal Planning

Meal Plan Monday: 03.23.15 – 03.29.15

I’m not going to lie about it. I dropped the ball. I got into the final week of the semester for grad school and lost my shit. So many gluten free corn dogs and Udi’s uncured pepperoni pizzas were had. Let’s just not talk about that week. So… I didn’t make a meal plan last week even for myself. I didn’t even try, because I know how crazy that last week of school gets. But! The semester is over and I have three glorious weeks of break to do whatever I want to in. And what I want to do is get my ass back on track. So here’s this week’s meal plan. Just for you. Yes, you. But not for that guy over there. He fucking sucks.

Breakfasts:

  • NO EGGS. I’m sick of that shit. (I’ll probably be back in love with eggs next week. Let’s not kid our fucking selves…)
  • Oatmeal with blueberries and honey
  • Yogurt with strawberries
  • Leftovers from dinner the night before

Lunches:

  • Deli meat & dill pickle rollups with spinach salad
  • Caulimash
  • Buffalo cauliflower
  • Broiled cod, broccoli, and half a cup of brown rice
  • Leftovers from dinner the night before

Snacks:

  • Green apples with nut butter
  • Yogurt with strawberries and blueberries
  • Dill pickle
  • A serving of pepperoni or a couple slices of deli meat
  • Rainbow sherbet

Dinner:

  • Monday
    • Braised oxtails and greens
  • Tuesday
    • Egg Roll Bowl
  • Wednesday
  • Thursday
    • Chicken tenders and sweet potato fries
      • The chicken tenders will be crusted with almond flour and pan fried in coconut oil and I plan on using Cookie + Kate’s recipe for the first time for the baked sweet potato fries.
  • Friday
    • Bacon wrapped pork chop asparagus rolls
  • Saturday
  • Sunday
    • Leftovers

Grocery List:

  • Orange Juice
  • Salami
  • Pepperoni
  • Applegate smoked turkey slices
  • Hamburger rolls
  • Milk
  • Greens
  • 2 packages of low sodium bacon
  • Bottle of red wine

Impulse buys:

  • 20 oz. bottle of Sunkist for me & a 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew for Chuck

We spent $46.93.

xoxo,

Kitchen Bitch

P.S. – This Friday, we’re beginning our monthly guest posts. The kick-off will start with Amanda, my college friend who originally convinced me to do the 21 Day Sugar Detox with her. You can find her, her hilarious moments with her daughter, and her AMAZING food pics on Twitter & Instagram.

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